sexy hai: Are you up for a Quickie? Let me know what yo think? these are funny!!?

Quickie #1

%26gt; One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a

%26gt;very sexy nightie.

%26gt; "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

%26gt; So he tied her up and went fishing.

%26gt; Quickie #2

%26gt;

%26gt; A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran

%26gt;into the house.

%26gt; She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,

%26gt;pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

%26gt; The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or

%26gt;mountain stuff?"

%26gt; "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #3

%26gt;

%26gt; Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and

%26gt;the other is a husband.

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #4

%26gt;

%26gt; A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

%26gt; First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

%26gt; The optician showed him a card with the letters:

%26gt; 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

%26gt; "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

%26gt; "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #5

%26gt;

%26gt; Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I

%26gt;must tell you all

%26gt; something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

%26gt; "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of

%26gt;chardonnay."

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #6

%26gt;

%26gt; A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

%26gt;Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

%26gt; "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

%26gt;You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We

%26gt;need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're

%26gt;going to STICK!

%26gt; Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when

%26gt;you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST

%26gt;your mind?

%26gt; Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.

%26gt;Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"

%26gt; The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You

%26gt;think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

%26gt; The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like

%26gt;when I'm driving."

%26gt;

%26gt; Quickie #7

%26gt;

%26gt; Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North

%26gt; Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

%26gt; On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.

%26gt; That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

%26gt; On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.

%26gt; That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

%26gt; On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.

%26gt; The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years